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Ah, Thanksgiving in America, where we gather together to eat too much food, watch too much football, and remember why we try to avoid talking to most of these people for the rest of the year.
All right, maybe I’m exaggerating, but the reality is that several people actively dread this time of year. Too much drama, too much family, too much…everything. There’s just something about traveling to someone’s house and eating a lot of turkey and gravy that seems to encourage guests to share their opinions. Loudly. With minimal filtering. And total disregard for anyone that said opinion might offend or harm.
It’s like Twitter, but with stuffing.
And yet, we still invite our families and friends to our homes to celebrate Thanksgiving, despite the fact they drive us crazy sometimes. There’s a delicate balance between tradition, obligation, familial love, and self care. Navigating these interactions requires tact, patience, love, and toughness. It means managing a lot of different opinions, backgrounds, world views, and relationships and that’s often harder than ensuring the turkey is done on time.
A confession: it was at this point that I was going to try and pivot this topic into similarities with the business world and the difficulties of navigating difficult conversations in the workplace. I was going to talk about setting ground rules and treating others with respect. But as I was writing, I realized it didn’t matter. Because sometimes it’s more important to focus on the personal than on the professional.
Like many of you, my family can be a hot mess. These people have been through a lot – not just this year, but over generations. Opinions differ wildly, to the point where I’ve thought, “Did this person actually raise me?!” We’re bringing more than a side dish to this dinner; we’re bringing our pasts as well – the real and imagined wrongs we’ve suffered, the decades-old grudges we’ve harbored, all the memories and all the regrets. This has resulted in shouting matches, in passive aggressive comments, and in uncomfortable silences.
And yet, through it all, we’ve managed to remember why we still get together. We laugh about the past. We tease each other about the present. We cautiously talk about what the future might look like. We push back. We argue. We reminisce. We tell jokes. We limit (or remove) exposure to those who truly harm us – and please believe that it is 100% okay to do this, no matter what your mother/father/grandparent/uncle says – and embrace those who, despite all our differences, continue to have our back no matter what.
So as we head into this holiday season, one filled with more get-togethers than we may really want, let’s focus on the why. Is it merely a sense of obligation? Or is it because, despite it all, we love these goofballs and want to hear them tell that story about how they didn’t realize their best friend’s uncle was in the Mafia again*?
We only have so many Thanksgivings. Spend it with the people you love and tolerate, not the people you just tolerate. Be grateful for this time together. Be grateful that you can argue and then laugh about all of it later. Surround yourself with the family you choose – whether they’re related by blood or not. Be grateful that you have chosen to spend time with specifically these people and make the most of it.
With warm regards,
— Mary
Principal/Thanksgiving host/Lover of stuffing, IA
*This is 100% a true story, and it’s a good one.
Voice of HR
The Humans of Human Resources
HR often gets blamed for a lot of issues at work. But do you really know what HR does? Janine Comito reminds us of the humans working in HR.
Where You Can Find Us
We are grateful to continue to participate in industry events whenever we can. Here are some that are coming up in the coming months:
December 7, 2021: Mary Faulkner will be talking about the Candidate Experience and participating in a live Q&A at the upcoming Recruiter Nation Live event. Take a moment to learn more and register today!
January 2022: The IA team will be back with HR Executive Magazine to present a webinar centered around the continued conversation about skills – upskilling, reskilling, who owns it, what it means to work, etc. Stay tuned for more information!
March 2022: It’s never too early to plan to join IA-ers for the 2022 Hacking HR Global Online Conference! Be sure to register and plan your agenda today
On Our Radar
Once again, the internet has proven to be a fascinating place – one filled with a number of incredibly interesting articles about work. Here are a few that the team thought were worth another look:
- As work continues to evolve, our idea of leadership evolves, too. With an eye towards the future, Linda Pophal challenges organizations to rethink how we develop the next generation of managers.
- Does it feel like you’re drowning in meetings? Well, you’re not alone. And apparently, that experience is contributing to the so-called “Great Resignation.” In this article from Inc., we learn that meetings are an indicator that work-life balance isn’t as balanced as we’d like to think.
- And from the “read the room” file, there is one segment of working society that has had it with office workers complaining about returning to the office. Huffpost shares a perspective that often gets overlooked.
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