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As an experienced global traveler, one would think I’ve mastered the art of time shifting. My hotel mirror in Stockholm suggested otherwise. With eyes undergirded by heavy carry-on bags, crepe paper hands cracking under the dry air, and nightly tossing and turning activating a hundred static gray follicle antennas, I was clearly a mess. After sleepless nights continued, I realized an evening walk would do me some good. Wishing my colleagues good night, I ventured into the streets with no sense of direction and purpose.
About thirty minutes into my aimless wandering, I passed a bar advertising – and I’m not making this up – “Stranger’s Night.” Not speaking Swedish, I couldn’t comprehend the chalkboard words written in big letters on the door and had entered only because I heard singing and was seeking a beer and warmth. It was around 10:00pm CET on Valentine’s Day, and the proprietor thought it would be fun to offer an alternative to people on their own.
Upon entry my coat was taken by a somber older gentleman and unceremoniously throw into a pile. A young woman who could not stop laughing instructed me to write “a name” – not my name – on a clipboard. She pointed to the bar and told me to “wait until you’re called” and “have fun!”
My pint still settling, a smiling middle-aged man yelled, “Paul!” and the same young woman jumped quickly onto a make-shift stage, still beaming. As the music began, she closed her eyes and belted out an amazing rendition of the Beatle’s Across the Universe. About halfway through the song, an equally curious, but cautious, new patron came up to the bar and ordered his drink. I said hello and that was when I learned that this was his first Stranger’s Night (“That’s what it said!” I responded). An expat from Norway, his good friend had suggested he not sit at home on one of the loneliest nights of the year. We clinked glasses as the refrain of “…nothing’s gonna change my world…” rang into the night.
The minutes quickly passed, and suddenly I was shuttled to clipboard duty, my smile wide as I instructed a new joiner to write “any name you’d like.” A mere thirty seconds later the cry for “Neil!” went up from our amazing host. Applause thundered and I took a deep breath – that was me. Not a particularly strong singer, I found myself relieved when the unmistakable opening notes of Sweet Caroline began. I quietly thanked God it wasn’t a Neil Young song, as those notes are beyond my limited reach.
People came and went as the songs continued, each unwitting soul thrilled by the experience and the instant camaraderie. An hour after my entry, I dug through the coat pile, wished my new friends a warm goodbye, and reentered the streets of Stockholm for the walk back to my hotel.
It’s been five weeks since that experience, but what sticks with me the most is that feeling of connectedness and spontaneous joy. After years of both physical and emotional isolation, being in the world in such an unexpected way sparked something clearly missing in my life, and perhaps yours. The solution may be as simple as engaging with a neighbor you barely know, the grocery clerk you see on Sunday, or the new joiner to your organization trying to find their way. Regardless of who and how, opening ourselves to others may require more effort and intention than in the past as we rebuild that muscle of community with our fellow humans.
Where it began, I can’t begin to knowing. (Or “Good times never seemed so good.” 😊 )
With warm regards,
— Mark Stelzner
Founder/Managing Principal/Neil Diamond Fan, IA
Voice of HR
Providers: Think “partner” first
To be successful in the long-term, providers need to move beyond the transactional and focus on building meaningful relationships. IA Managing Principal Kimberly Carroll shares her observations in this post.
Where You Can Find Us
Embracing our Stranger’s Night mentality, we hope you come up and introduce yourself when you attend one of the events we are supporting in the coming months:
April 12-13, 2023: With all the advancements in technology, it’s important to remember the power of a people-first approach, which just so happens to be the title of the keynote Mark Stelzner will deliver at the Evolve\23 invitation-only conference. Click here to learn more!
May 3-5, 2023: The upcoming Health and Benefits Leadership Conference will feature sessions to help organizations transform the way they think about using total rewards to engage, retain, and support their employees. Mark will be keynoting Day Two, along with Cisco’s global benefits leadership, to share the organization’s journey to build an integrated benefits experience.
May 22-24, 2023: At ERE.net’s Spring Recruiting Conference, Mary Faulkner will be hosting a panel and participating in round tables to help organizations solve some of their thorniest talent acquisition challenges. You can learn more about the event here.
On Our Radar
As we wrap up Q1 2023, we double-checked the calendar to make sure that was really the date, and then found some stories that we thought were interesting:
- With all the news about layoffs so far this year, it’s important to consider whether these are part of a long-term strategy or short-term game. This article from Fast Company challenges organizations to consider the cost of chronic-understaffing.
- We spend a lot of time at work – whether remote or on-site. This means our relationships with our co-workers are very important. Harvard Business Review suggests that these relationships can be jeopardized by the smallest things.
- And from the “why not?” file, one person decided to give ChatGPT $100 and follow every piece of advice it gave him. He has been documenting his journey on Twitter and it’s been a fascinating experiment.
About IA
As trusted advisors to senior leaders, IA supports strategic initiatives that transform the way organizations work.
Our seasoned team of professionals apply a revolutionary eye, deep domain experience, and flexible tools to accelerate the achievement of even the most ambitious goals. With a cross-functional, strategic perspective, we thrive on big, messy problems. Whether large or small, public or private, domestic or international, it’s our job to support leaders and their teams in achieving outcomes that are truly unique to their culture and objectives.
Every organization has a catalyst for change – learn more at ia-hr.com.
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